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women the next door…

We shifted to a new society in mid of June last year. Though initially i was not so happy about the place and the neighborhood but soon I got settled. One person who was most supporting and helped in all transition was my new neighbor . She’s in her mid thirties  but looks fit and perfect. Small heighted , little plump,long hair, dressed in Salwar Kaameej symbolising the perfect Indian traditional women . Yet she’s  a metrosexual women. Manges the home, two kids ,and  bussiness. She’s popular in the society, everyone knows her and she waves to every one who passes by..
She’s loud spoken , extrovert and always there when you need a helping hand.
You can often see her busy, hurrying , rushing towards the stairs , talking over phone in one hand, and packets, boxes, bags in other. Just at a single sight one could tell she’s a busy women.
When I first met her, I could not understand her. I found her a little  weird, she would rush away in the middle of conversation, or suddenly shouts over her kids playing in the corner, or changed the topic abruptly. But later as I got to see her and know her closely I understood the real person .A simple living, middle class women ,living with her in-laws , husband and two kids. She manages everything so well . Gets up early ,does all cooking , cleaning, mending, laundry sends her kids to school and hubbysband to office. Sets everything in place for the in-laws then goes to her office.brings her kids from school , goes to gym  prepares dinner. Makes the bed . She does eveything to make her family and people around her happy  and little time she gets for herself ,she wants to be a helping hand to husband . She tries to earn some extra pennies ,sometimes by selling salwar suits fromhome, or other times arranging summer classes for kids.
Sometimes I really wonder , does she has more than 24 hrs s day?how come she manages so many things all by herself ,  Yet she looks happy,and her face glowing… When ever I see her jogging in the park I often think of asking her this question. But then she waves ,smiles and passes quickly. Probably she has all that energy and innerstrength which helps her to be the wonderful person she is.

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Letter to God !!I

Toady while jogging suddenly a paper  stumble across my shoes, while picking it up  ,i realized it was a notebook paper and something was scribbled on it . Tough not legible i  carefully read it  .Here it goes ..

Dear God ,

Mom says grandma is with you . Please send her back .i miss her very much

I promise i’ll be a good boy and never  ask for anything else .

Good boy,

Rahul

I was touched , a tear rolled . I looked up the sky and kept the paper in my pocket .I know god must have read it .

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20 minutes : Yet another day !!

Alike everyday, yesterday was yet another day … the morning alarm , newspaper on the door , cooking ,cleaning , mending , laundry , babysitting , and other small household work . This is my daily routine … this is all i do the whole day .. it looks so simple and easy but when looked at a  border perspective ,  the nitty gritties of taking care of house , being a responsible mother , a good mate , a obedient wife takes a lot. A lot of ward work , patience ,  sacrifices and much more which only a women can do and understand .

Although i m happy and contend with my  life , i have a loving husband who loves and understands me ,  and a adorable ,sweet little baby,who amuses me all the time and makes me smile for no reason but still deep in heart ther’s something bothering me , something that keeps telling me that that’s not enough , go out explore the world .., reset your limits and cross your boundaries . But  those thoughts are not concrete ,they are loosened and  deep buried . I am yet to discover what that spark is , that missing stint that leaves me frazzled and stumb .i have to .tie those loosen treads ,and find out what would give me  sense of fulfillment ,a sense of accomplishment .. Every night when i sleep , pondering on the day’s activities , i don’t get that feel of accomplishment .Everyday looks like the same .. with nothing so important to tell , or to pen down . .. .

Today, it just wont let it be just another day , because today  i have decide that everyday i;ll take 20 minutes for myself for doing what i really enjoy and wanted to do .. probably that would give me a inner satisfaction and a smile to make the next day more fruitful.

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Blogging day 4 : TO Whomsoever it may concern :

I started this blog to share my experiences , to learn ,explore and practice my writing skills .I thought my audience is me , i write for myself .But when i look deep , I wanted it to reach someone , to everyone who can help me in this process to grow and learn .

I m full of hopes and dreams ,but lack of opportunities . I am still not sure writing is my cup of tea or not but I just  love doing it  and want to try my hands on this  . I Wish someone out there might be reading this .I wish some one out there will think m capable of writing well . I wish my thoughts , dreams and passion will reach and touch someone out there. I wish ,today a new door will open and i’ll accomplish what i wanted to .

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Talking to mirror

Men usually wonder y do women take so much time to dress up .? they usually mock about  women standing in front of mirror for hours , my husband is no different .Once teasing me he said ,women can talk to mirrors . I could not reply him ,i could not  answer .I just smiled and walked away . I smiled for his ignorance , i smiled as i felt pity  on myself because my husband could not understand me , he dint knew the reason for me standing in front of the mirror .The simple reason , the reason that i m not taking to mirror,  i m talking to myself  .I am looking at the mirror to find the Perfect “ME” for i feel inadequate , inappropriate and unimpressive. Its Not about just how I Look , its about everything , everything about me .
Among us ,almost 85% women feel the same ,inadequate and trivial .

Shocking , yet true .Least of us women are happy with what we see in mirror . What could be the probable reason ??Is it that we find ourselves  unattractive as we have lost our body and shape for giving birth  ,or  the overburdened responsibilities have made us stoop shouldered and we look old ?? or we are too busy cooking , mentoring and cleaning the house to get a hairdeo for ourselves ??Probably we feel we aren’t important as we are just housewife’s ,the so considered least important and easy job to do?? Or Probably we feel inefficient to maintain  balance between work and family ,or so called work life balance ??
But Frankly speaking ,All this are assumptions which have dwell in our minds and hearts and weaken us over the years . Coz for sure,  we the women have almost given our family and dear one’s the foremost priority in our life ,even more importance then we have given to ourselves .Beneath those household responsibilities , rituals and family aspirations we have forgotten our own dreams and aspirations ,yet we are not acclaimed and admired .
But Now its the time to change .To unleash and overcome those hidden fears , regain the self  confidence and fall in love with ourselves.we have given our best to our family ,and now its the time to ponder a little on our happiness  .So Stop waiting for someone to come and admire you .Admire yourself ,love yourself ,be proud of what you are and what you have done .Remember ,No one can take your place , because you are special . Stop judging yourself in the mirror as you are Perfect in your own ways .Mirror is your image ,it show’s what you want to see ,. If you’ll see the perfect you ‘the way you are ,your mirror will show you the same .

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Attachment !!

I remember having a china pen when i was in class 5th , i was so deeply attached to that pen .Every exam my china pen was my companion . .I always carry it in my Campus box  . My lucky pen , my favorite pen . I continued the same practice till 8th standard . I remember how deeply i was hurt when  my elder brother broke off my pen . I actually cried for hours, because for me that pen was so precious and irreplaceable.  I had even  kept the broken pieces  for days , though i don’t remm for how long ..still  a faint memory of that exists in my mind .

Some people will  find reading it stupid ?? Today when living creatures , human beings are not given so importance , not loved so much .. how could someone  love a not -living , small , fragile fountain pen .Silly , Is’nt it ??? Indeed it sounds so .But that was not the era of internet and mobile phones ,that was the time when we were so away from the virtual world .We loved and believed in what we could see , feel and touch .Some loved their dolls , other teddy bear and i loved that Pen ..

Attachment could be with anything , any body , any place . Attachment word is not necessarily be addressed with a human being . Some are attached to a place they are living in as they have memories and a past associated with that place , Some people are attached to there pets . Pets are loved  and cared almost lives humans . A very fine line separates attachment with love  . When attachment reaches it peak , slowly it gets converted to love .

But who cares  , be its attachment or love . So what if other’s think you as silly and stupid  . These small attachments gives you a memory lane , a reason to smile looking back to the past,a reason to remember the instances of childhood , a reason to know yourself better .

I don’t care what others may think , but i am fond of small lil things , i love the small hand made basket kept  in the corner , the pretty lampshade on my table , the inspiring  painting in my bedroom .

I’ll always keep them along . These lil things brings a smile on my face,.